Trying to be A Christian Mom in a Media Centered Society

Being the mother of a sixth grade girl, I have come to know first hand the damage that our media centered society can do to a young girl's self esteem. Being a Christian mother is even more challenging. Trying to instill modesty, morals and values in our young daughter's when all they see is scantily clad women on TV, the Internet and in print, is difficult. It is not a job that can be accomplished alone. God's strength and wisdom is an invaluable tool in raising young girls in America.

During a recent presentation at our middle school, we were briefly introduced to a trailer for a documentary call Miss Representation. It is a documentary about the barrage of media images our daughter's see on a daily basis. I could not believe what I saw. I mean, I knew it wasn't good, but I was stunned! I cannot imagine what an 11 year old must think they have to do to be accepted. Devoid of ALL morals, these images are not only damaging to self esteem; they are offensive. And what are we teaching our young men? These images also affect they way they view our daughters.

Recently, my daughter came home from 5th grade (at the time) saying that one of her friends liked a little boy at school but he wasn't paying attention to her. She was determined to get his attention so the next day she came to school wearing a tight dress, high heels and lipstick (yes I said 5th grade!). My daughter asked her why she was dressed like that and she said she was trying to get the boy's attention. She told my daughter that her mom said it was okay to "dress" for a boy. WHAT?! Thank goodness my daughter asked me about this so we could have a conversation about what was appropriate. What God would think was appropriate. I explained to her that I thought if a boy didn't like you for the person you are, then he wasn't worth the time. If dressing differently (less modestly) was what it took, then he wasn't the type of person God would want her to give attention. Reminding her of Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the retrieving of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will." or  of Galatians 1:10: "Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ"; helped her understand that what society deems acceptable is not at all what God sees as acceptable.

Using God's guide for life (otherwise known as the Bible) to help our daughter's understand and combat societal expectations could give them the tools they need to survive these formative years. Being engaged in their lives, listening to their concerns and answering their questions with honesty and God's guidance is what Christian moms were called to do. How we respond now, may shape them and the way they see themselves for years to come. If we stand together with our daughters, we may just be able to change it all!

Letting My Daughter Take the Lead

Nearly twelve years ago, I stood in the middle of my kitchen holding a pregnancy test with a plus sign in the window. I was 38 years old and had given up hope that God would bless my husband and I with a second child. In fact, we had just moved to a new house and after years of trying, gave away all of our baby things to friends and the goodwill. It just goes to show that God has His own timing, His own will and a sense of humor!

Our now eleven year old has been a joy and a challenge. She definitely has her own mind! This is a good thing as an adult but certainly a source of frustration for me as the parent of a youngster. That determination has allowed her to pursue the gifts that God has given her. One such gift is singing and we have tried to nurture that through church choir and musicals, but the other is something more powerful. God has given her a heart for those with special needs and challenges and she has not only listened to the call; she has embraced it!

This year she is a 6th grader. It is her first year in middle school which we all know can be a challenge in itself; but in the first week, she noticed several children with physical and mental challenges at neighboring cafeteria tables. She got up from where she was sitting and went over to introduce herself to as many of them as she could. Can you imagine? What courage it took to do something so wonderful. Many of these students are seen as outcasts by their peers, but my daughter sees their souls instead of bodies and that is a gift that not many people have. She even approached the special needs coordinator at her school to volunteer as a student helper. Normally they do not allow 6th graders to help, but made an exception for her. At the end of each school day, she helps her buddy, Michael, get his coat on and strap his backpack to his wheelchair before making the trek to his bus.

As the parent of such a special person, I felt that it was my responsibility to help nurture this gift. While I have always had compassion for those with special challenges, I have never been all that comfortable interacting with them. This week, on Good Friday, my daughter and I will be volunteering with a ministry called SOAR at a local church. SOAR stands for Special Opportunities Abilities and Relationships. We can't wait to meet our new friend. I am excited to serve and to let my daughter take the lead in teaching me to step outside my comfort zone. I am excited for the opportunity God has given us to build new relationships with His most special souls and in turn, building a greater bond with the child he entrusted me with all those years ago!