I believe it is a parent's job to be mindful of their children's friends. When they are small, I guess it's more about the vibe you get from the other toddler's parents than about the actual interaction between the children. The parent's reaction to certain situations is how you decide whether or not a regular "play date" is a good thing. For example: If my child is playing with another and the child bites her. If the parent says "oh, it's not a big deal all 3 year olds do that." I might allow another play date, but be paying very close attention to what happens next time. Because a 3 year old can't really understand what he is doing is hurtful, it would be up to his/her parent to guide him.
As my daughter has gotten older, now almost 10; I am still watching but for different things. I love that she has many friends and every one of them is her "best friend". She has such a sweet disposition and doesn't like to hurt anyone's feelings. While her gentleness is a wonderful quality, it can also be a problem when it comes to "friends" who are possessive. In the past year, she has had a friend who "didn't want her to sit next to anyone else". To the point that this friend would push a person off a chair to sit next to my daughter. If my daughter would say, I want to talk to my other friends this child would pinch, slap or twist her arm to keep her from doing it. Speaking with the child's parent didn't seem to change things and they keep calling to set up a sleepover or get together. How do you I say I don't think this is a good idea without getting into what is likely to be a very sensitive and hurtful conversation?
This pattern repeated itself this summer with a new friend she met a VBS. I won't go into the whole story but it is very similar to the one above. I try to teach her to handle situations on her own and stand up for herself before I get involved. I also believe that it is my job to protect my daughter from relationships that are unhealthy. I am a Christian person and I try very hard to be tactful. But the truth is if I can't get my point across delicately, I tend to be very blunt. My experience has taught me that beating around the bush leaves too much open to interpretation. Is that approach considered un-christian like? Would Jesus think less of me?
I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and suggestions on this issue.. post now!
