Hearing and Obeying God's Will

God brought me to the Christian t-shirt evangelism team nearly three years ago. As a financial consultant and business advisor, my husband spends a lot of time evaluating companies for purchase by his clients.  A colleague contacted him regarding a Christian t-shirt/apparel business he had for sale. He wanted to know if he might have an investor interested in purchasing it. Being Christian who believes there are no accidents, we followed God's direction.  And so the journey began. 

In the past two and a half years, I have been able to spend time learning more about God's word through the Christian t-shirts I sell. All of our designs are associated with scripture. Each sale/purchase is an opportunity to share Jesus' message of love, hope and salvation with those who may not know Him. It may also give someone who is a believer, the courage to become a Christian t-shirt evangelist. One Christian t-shirt can be seen (read) as many as 3000 times before it wears out. That's 3000 opportunities to reach someone for Christ! 

Through the blessing of Online Christian Shopper, I have met, prayed with and on behalf of many of my customers. Each of them with a different need or crisis. All of them a learning experience for me. God has an amazing way of putting us in the place we need to be, when we need to be there… closer to Him! Everyday brings a new challenge and with each challenge comes a new blessing. I am forever grateful for God's faithfulness. It is by His grace we are saved.

Trying to be A Christian Mom in a Media Centered Society

Being the mother of a sixth grade girl, I have come to know first hand the damage that our media centered society can do to a young girl's self esteem. Being a Christian mother is even more challenging. Trying to instill modesty, morals and values in our young daughter's when all they see is scantily clad women on TV, the Internet and in print, is difficult. It is not a job that can be accomplished alone. God's strength and wisdom is an invaluable tool in raising young girls in America.

During a recent presentation at our middle school, we were briefly introduced to a trailer for a documentary call Miss Representation. It is a documentary about the barrage of media images our daughter's see on a daily basis. I could not believe what I saw. I mean, I knew it wasn't good, but I was stunned! I cannot imagine what an 11 year old must think they have to do to be accepted. Devoid of ALL morals, these images are not only damaging to self esteem; they are offensive. And what are we teaching our young men? These images also affect they way they view our daughters.

Recently, my daughter came home from 5th grade (at the time) saying that one of her friends liked a little boy at school but he wasn't paying attention to her. She was determined to get his attention so the next day she came to school wearing a tight dress, high heels and lipstick (yes I said 5th grade!). My daughter asked her why she was dressed like that and she said she was trying to get the boy's attention. She told my daughter that her mom said it was okay to "dress" for a boy. WHAT?! Thank goodness my daughter asked me about this so we could have a conversation about what was appropriate. What God would think was appropriate. I explained to her that I thought if a boy didn't like you for the person you are, then he wasn't worth the time. If dressing differently (less modestly) was what it took, then he wasn't the type of person God would want her to give attention. Reminding her of Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the retrieving of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will." or  of Galatians 1:10: "Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ"; helped her understand that what society deems acceptable is not at all what God sees as acceptable.

Using God's guide for life (otherwise known as the Bible) to help our daughter's understand and combat societal expectations could give them the tools they need to survive these formative years. Being engaged in their lives, listening to their concerns and answering their questions with honesty and God's guidance is what Christian moms were called to do. How we respond now, may shape them and the way they see themselves for years to come. If we stand together with our daughters, we may just be able to change it all!

Letting My Daughter Take the Lead

Nearly twelve years ago, I stood in the middle of my kitchen holding a pregnancy test with a plus sign in the window. I was 38 years old and had given up hope that God would bless my husband and I with a second child. In fact, we had just moved to a new house and after years of trying, gave away all of our baby things to friends and the goodwill. It just goes to show that God has His own timing, His own will and a sense of humor!

Our now eleven year old has been a joy and a challenge. She definitely has her own mind! This is a good thing as an adult but certainly a source of frustration for me as the parent of a youngster. That determination has allowed her to pursue the gifts that God has given her. One such gift is singing and we have tried to nurture that through church choir and musicals, but the other is something more powerful. God has given her a heart for those with special needs and challenges and she has not only listened to the call; she has embraced it!

This year she is a 6th grader. It is her first year in middle school which we all know can be a challenge in itself; but in the first week, she noticed several children with physical and mental challenges at neighboring cafeteria tables. She got up from where she was sitting and went over to introduce herself to as many of them as she could. Can you imagine? What courage it took to do something so wonderful. Many of these students are seen as outcasts by their peers, but my daughter sees their souls instead of bodies and that is a gift that not many people have. She even approached the special needs coordinator at her school to volunteer as a student helper. Normally they do not allow 6th graders to help, but made an exception for her. At the end of each school day, she helps her buddy, Michael, get his coat on and strap his backpack to his wheelchair before making the trek to his bus.

As the parent of such a special person, I felt that it was my responsibility to help nurture this gift. While I have always had compassion for those with special challenges, I have never been all that comfortable interacting with them. This week, on Good Friday, my daughter and I will be volunteering with a ministry called SOAR at a local church. SOAR stands for Special Opportunities Abilities and Relationships. We can't wait to meet our new friend. I am excited to serve and to let my daughter take the lead in teaching me to step outside my comfort zone. I am excited for the opportunity God has given us to build new relationships with His most special souls and in turn, building a greater bond with the child he entrusted me with all those years ago!

Friend Choices: How Do You Guide Your Child Away from Unhealthy Friendships

I believe it is a parent's job to be mindful of their children's friends. When they are small, I guess it's more about the vibe you get from the other toddler's parents than about the actual interaction between the children.  The parent's reaction to certain situations is how you decide whether or not a regular "play date" is a good thing. For example: If my child is playing with another and the child bites her. If the parent says "oh, it's not a big deal all 3 year olds do that." I might allow another play date, but be paying very close attention to what happens next time. Because a 3 year old can't really understand what he is doing is hurtful, it would be up to his/her parent to guide him.

As my daughter has gotten older, now almost 10; I am still watching but for different things. I love that she has many friends and every one of them is her "best friend". She has such a sweet disposition and doesn't like to hurt anyone's feelings. While her gentleness is a wonderful quality, it can also be a problem when it comes to "friends" who are possessive. In the past year, she has had a friend who "didn't want her to sit next to anyone else". To the point that this friend would push a person off a chair to sit next to my daughter. If my daughter would say, I want to talk to my other friends this child would pinch, slap or twist her arm to keep her from doing it. Speaking with the child's parent didn't seem to change things and they keep calling to set up a sleepover or get together. How do you I say I don't think this is a good idea without getting into what is likely to be a very sensitive and hurtful conversation?

This pattern repeated itself this summer with a new friend she met a VBS. I won't go into the whole story but it is very similar to the one above. I try to teach her to handle situations on her own and stand up for herself before I get involved. I also believe that it is my job to protect my daughter from relationships that are unhealthy. I am a Christian person and I try very hard to be tactful. But the truth is if I can't get my point across delicately, I tend to be very blunt. My experience has taught me that beating around the bush leaves too much open to interpretation. Is that approach considered un-christian like? Would Jesus think less of me?

I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and suggestions on this issue.. post now!

Spiritual Hypocrites... Call Them Out or Walk Away

In Matthew Chapter 23, Jesus calls out the spiritual hypocrites of His time. Rabbi, Priest, Pastor it mattered not. If you were a spiritual leader using religion or the church as a cover for unChrist-like behavior, He was going to expose you. Jesus also called on Christians to expose those who mislead their followers.

Matthew 23:5 "Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries[a] wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called 'Rabbi' by others." Community outreach is about more than placing a frozen turkey in a box while the local newspaper takes your photo! A true spiritual leader should be actually handing the gift of food and hope face to face. Holding out a hand to the receiver, saying God loves you! Pastor Jerry Johnston are you listening?

Matthew 23:25 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Today, if you call yourself the "First Family" and are followed by bodyguards within the walls of your church; you have given yourself too much credit. Your arrogance is so great you believe you are exempt from the laws of God. But beware Pastor Jerry Johnston, God sees past the large salary, expensive clothes, and fancy words. HE sees your true heart. You cannot hide from Him.

Matthew 23:23 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices-mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law-justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel." Yet again you disregard the laws of God and biblical principles. Organizing a lynch mob without all the facts is not justice. Firing someone based on hearsay (also known as gossip) is not merciful. Betraying them after years of loyal ministry is a violation of faith. Pastor Jerry Johnston, Dan Galindau, Board of Elders of First Family Church in Overland Park are you listening?

Beware church leaders! We all must be diligent in our walk with God. We must continue to look inside our "cup" to make sure it is clean. Without a clear path to God, we are likely to veer into oncoming traffic and the crash can be devastating!

HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO...

Since May, our family has been in spiritual turmoil. The senior pastor of the church we have been members of for the past 6 years has engaged in behavior that is not in line with biblical principles. After much deliberation, we decided to leave the church.

I have been struggling with what to do with all I know about the leaders of the church. Do I call them out or do I just leave it behind? While the human side of me would love for the world to know all, the spiritual side of me says that God will take care of it. I have come to the conclusion that spending anymore time or energy on them is giving them too much power. The fact is that they aren't important enough! They aren't significant enough to continue talking about. Egos like theirs will only be brought into check when the halls of the church are silent. 

In order to move forward, I can no longer look back. With God's help and guidance, I will let go of the sadness, disappointment, and anger. I want to be the person Jesus sees. Those who have lost sight of Him, will fall without any help from me.

What Do You Do When Grandma Refuses to Follow Parental Wishes?

Last May the Grandparents came for a visit to see our daughter in the church musical. Ever since I can remember, whenever they visit, our daughter becomes abstinent, cranky and just plain hard to manage. I get the whole idea that kids are supposed to have fun with their Grandparents, but at what point does fun turn into unruliness? And at what point do you say enough is enough?

OK, on with the story. So it was the night before the musical and I had a couple of errands to run. I asked my mother in law if she would have my daughter make a thank you card for her music director and then dress for bed before I got home. Seems like a reasonable request, right? When I returned home about an hour later (around 8:30 p.m.), no card had been made and my daughter was playing on the computer. I asked my mother in law what they had been doing and why nothing I had requested was done? She said and I quote: "I am not gonna be the one to tell her she can't do things". What? To that I responded: "Well she wouldn't go to school either if I didn't make her. She's 9, she doesn't get to make decisions. Someone has to be the adult." I'm sure you can imagine how that went over. I know the bible says to honor thy Mother and Father and we are a Christian family, but when is it okay to set that aside and confront them about disobeying your wishes?

Since that time, there have been repeated requests from Grandma to have our daughter come for a one or two week visit without us. My husband takes frequent trips to see them so that they get to spend time with their granddaughter, but we are reluctant to let her go alone. Are we being too controlling? Is it silly for us to be concerned about their disregard for our parenting choices?

Post your comment or stories here. I would love to get another perspective on the issue!